In our last session we talked about the different ways in which you may be experiencing the different symptoms of autism. Here’s a reminder of the common symptoms those with this diagnosis may experience:
Challenges in using and understanding language, sarcasm, humour and body language (e.g. lack of eye contact, limited/animated facial expressions)
Sensory aversive (e.g. noise sensitivity) or sensory seeking behaviours (touching and feeling things)
A need for routine and struggle with changes
Repetitive body movements such as stimming, rocking or finger flicking
Lack of theory of mind, cannot understand peoples’ perspectives
Difficulty participating in tasks with no clear ending such as open writing tasks
Fixation/intense interests, might change over time
Inability to initiate or maintain friendships
Failure to seek pleasure from social interactions
Needing things in a specific manner, non-functional rituals and compulsions
Just because you may face challenges, it doesn’t mean autism doesn’t have good sides too.
Which of these do you notice in yourself?
| Able to focus on one thing | Strong reader | Able to focus on small details |
| Creativity | Honesty | Loyalty to family and friends |
| Acceptance of others’ differences | Strong sense of rules | Good memory |
Self-awareness is a critical skill that plays a crucial role in the personal growth and development of individuals with autism. Research has shown that developing self-awareness skills can have a positive impact on the overall well-being of individuals on the autism spectrum.
Studies have highlighted that autism treatment approaches focused on promoting self-awareness have been successful in improving social communication skills, reducing anxiety, and increasing self-esteem in individuals with autism. These approaches have included cognitive-behavioural therapy, social skills training, and mindfulness-based interventions.
One of the primary benefits of promoting self-awareness in individuals with autism is that it can help them better understand their own feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. This can allow them to develop improved coping mechanisms and better navigate social situations. Additionally, promoting self-awareness can help individuals with autism better recognise their strengths and abilities, leading to increased confidence and improved overall quality of life.
Autistic individuals may express emotions differently from neurotypical individuals. Their facial expressions or tone of voice may not always align with their internal emotional state, leading to misinterpretations by others.
While it may appear that they lack empathy, it’s important to understand that autistic individuals may express empathy differently, not necessarily lack it (see the double empathy problem). They may also engage in masking, which is the suppression of autistic traits to fit in with social expectations.
Masking can affect emotional expression and regulation, making it more challenging for autistic individuals to understand and communicate their true emotions.
Several factors contribute to the unique ways autistic individuals process emotions, including sensory processing differences, alexithymia, and variations in brain connectivity. It’s important to understand these factors to gain a deeper understanding of the emotional experiences of autistic individuals.
The below highlights the differences between autistic people and non-autistic people across a variety of factors. Consider whether you recognise any of these in yourself:
| Aspect | Autistic Individuals | Neurotypical Individuals |
| Emotional self-awareness | May struggle to identify their own emotions (alexithymia is common). Can feel emotions but not easily label them, leading to delayed or confused responses. | Generally, understand and label their emotions with relative ease, using internal cues to know if they’re sad, angry, etc. |
| Empathy toward others | Often experience intense empathy, especially for others’ negative emotions (can feel others’ distress as their own). However, they might miss or misinterpret social cues (facial expressions, tone) due to different processing. | May be upset by rejection, but to a lesser degree. A neurotypical person can usually brush off minor criticisms or see them in perspective. They dislike rejection but rarely experience the extreme dysphoria that some autistic people report. |
| Intensity of emotions | Emotions can hit very strongly and quickly. Minor incidents might trigger extreme anxiety, anger, or sadness. Once upset, they can remain in a heightened emotional state for a long time and need longer to cool down. | Typically recognise others’ emotional cues instinctively and respond appropriately. Empathy is felt but usually regulated (they feel concern but don’t literally absorb all of another’s pain). |
| Emotional regulation | May require more time to process emotional information. The brain may be busy handling sensory input and details, so recognising and reacting to an emotional situation can be slower. For instance, an autistic person might react to bad news a bit later, after they’ve had time to fully comprehend it. | Better developed regulation skills on average. Can often use coping strategies (like talking it out or distraction) automatically to prevent extreme outbursts. Full meltdowns are relatively rare in adulthood, except in high-stress situations. |
| Processing time | Emotional reactions are usually proportional to the event. Upsetting events cause distress, but most people return to their baseline emotional state more quickly. Intense, lingering emotional extremes are less frequent. | Usually process emotional stimuli more rapidly. Thanks to efficient filtering of sensory input, they can focus on the main emotional cues and respond in real-time (e.g., immediate comfort to a crying friend, quick joy at good news). |
| Response to social rejection or criticism | Often hyper-sensitive to rejection. Perceived criticism can feel deeply personal and painful, sometimes leading to intense fear or avoidance of social situations. They may ruminate on small slights or constantly worry about offending others. | Expression might be atypical or subdued. Some autistic adults don’t show their feelings in expected ways (e.g., limited facial expression or unusual body language), so others might not realise when they’re anxious or sad. Emotions might instead come out through actions (pacing, stimming) or later bursts. |
| Emotional expression | Expression might be atypical or subdued. Some autistic adults don’t show their feelings in expected ways (e.g., limited facial expression or unusual body language), so others might not realize when they’re anxious or sad. Emotions might instead come out through actions (pacing, stimming) or later bursts. | Follow common social norms for expression (smiling when happy, frowning when upset). Their body language and tone generally align with their internal state, making it easier for others to read their emotions in the moment. |
Next, we’ll start to think about what we can do to help you cope with your autism on a day-to-day basis.
The SPELL framework has been developed by the National Autistic Society and is aimed at helping both children and adults to understand their autism and help start to manage any difficult symptoms.
Aids personal autonomy and independence by reducing dependence. Environments and processes can be modified using visual information to ensure each person knows what is going to happen and what is expected of them, thereby reducing anxiety.
Establish and reinforce self-confidence and self-esteem by building on natural strengths, interests and abilities. Expectations should be high but realistic and based on careful assessments including barriers in accessing opportunities.
Try to understand what motivates or interests them but importantly what may also frighten, preoccupy or otherwise distress them. Aim at developing communication and reducing anxiety.
Approaches and the environment need to be calm and ordered. There should be as few distractions as possible. Supplementary relaxation and arousal reduction therapies, multi-sensory rooms, music and massage, sensory diet etc.
Autistic people, their parents or advocates should be seen as partners. Share information and work alongside the individual, their families and other professionals. Create and maintain links between the individual, their wider support networks and the community.
Is there anything here you think would be especially helpful? Is there anything you think you could do differently, or support you could ask for that would be helpful?
Next, we will start to build your tool kit of specific strategies.
Please note: We are not an emergency service, if you are in crisis and need urgent support or are worried about immediate risk of harm to self or others, please call 999. Alternatively, you can contact your GP and ask for an emergency appointment or visit your local A&E department. You can also contact the following services 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: NHS Helpline (111) and Samaritans (116 123).