A parent’s view of an autistic teenager’s world
Parenting a neurodivergent child can bring questions, uncertainty and moments where you wonder if anyone else truly understands what you are going through. For Jess, mum to a 13-year-old autistic daughter, the journey from first noticing early signs to navigating school life and finding the right support has been full of learning, strength and unexpected joy.
Her story will resonate with families searching for guidance and comfort as they learn to understand and celebrate their child’s unique way of seeing the world.
Parenting a neurodivergent child can bring questions, uncertainty and
moments where you wonder if anyone else truly understands what you are going through.
For Jess, mum to a 13-year-old autistic daughter, the journey from first noticing early signs to navigating school life and finding the right support has been full of learning, strength and unexpected joy.
Her story will resonate with families searching for guidance and comfort as they learn to understand and celebrate their child’s unique way of seeing the world.
Jess Kerr-Fearon
How did you first notice your daughter might experience the world differently?
Looking back there were signs all the way through her childhood. She found social cues difficult and often watched other children closely as if she was studying a species, trying to decode unspoken rules that came naturally to everyone else. Friendships were tricky for her to make and even harder to maintain.
I used to think she was just quirky and that she would grow out of it. I never imagined it might be autism. It was not until she was nine that everything finally made sense. The questions we had carried for years suddenly clicked into place.
What was the autism diagnosis process like for you as a parent?
It felt like a shock at first. It’s not something I ever really considered. But when the diagnosis came nothing about my daughter changed. We simply gained a clear language to understand her better.
That is what I want other parents to know. A diagnosis is not a limitation. It is information. It is a guidebook you did not realise you needed. Having that diagnosis is a starting point and gives you a way to support your child in the way they need.
Once I realised that nothing about her had changed it became easier to see the diagnosis as a positive step.
What challenges has your daughter faced at school as an autistic girl?
School can be hard for her socially. She wants friends but those unwritten rules feel confusing. Misunderstandings happen. Routines change. Busy corridors and noise can be overwhelming. Yet she shows up every single day. She tries. She keeps going. Her courage amazes me.
Working closely with the school has helped. Small predictable routines and clear communication make a huge difference. It has taken time but we have found ways to help her feel calmer and more understood in that environment.
How do you support her emotional wellbeing at home?
The biggest change has been learning to understand her world rather than trying to make her fit ours. She thrives with routine and clarity. She needs calm spaces before and after social situations. She needs honesty that matches her own direct way of communicating.
Music has been a huge support for her. She listens to the same songs on repeat which helps her regulate and prepare for the day. She also loves performing. When she is on stage she feels confident in a way she sometimes does not feel in everyday interactions. It gives her freedom.
She also finds comfort in caring for animals. The responsibility and calm interaction help her feel grounded.
What has surprised you most about raising an autistic daughter?
Her strength and determination. Her incredible honesty. She never tries to be anything other than herself and I admire that deeply.
I have learned that different is not worse. Different can be beautiful, unexpected and joyful. Our life looks different to what I imagined when she was little, but it is richer in ways I never expected. She has taught me to slow down, to celebrate small wins and to appreciate things most people overlook.
What support or resources have helped your family the most?
Connecting with other parents has been one of the biggest supports. We go to a meet-up in Glasgow once a month, where children and parents come together. The kids craft chat or sit on their phones together. They do not need to mask. They can just be themselves.
Two books that were especially helpful early on were:
•Supporting Spectacular Girls
• 10 Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
Both offered insight that helped us understand our daughter’s world in a more compassionate way.
What would you say to parents whose child has just been diagnosed with autism?
Please do not be scared. Your child is still the same incredible person they were before the diagnosis. You now have a map to help you understand them better.
You will adapt. You will find a rhythm as a family that works. You will discover strengths and joys you never expected. And your child will grow into their own unique way of being in the world.
Reach out. Talk to other parents. Look for groups. You are not on your own in this. There is support out there and you will be OK. More than OK.
Find the right support
If you are exploring autism support, we offer specialist autism assessments and tailored post-diagnostic guidance to help you understand your child’s needs and what will work best for them. Our team supports children and parents with practical strategies and clear information so you feel confident supporting your child as they grow.
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