How to parent a child with ADHD and autism

A clinical overview of AuDHD

AuDHD is not a formal diagnostic label but is commonly used to describe children who meet criteria for both autism and ADHD. Many families receive diagnoses at different times because symptoms may present differently at home, at school or across development. 

Children with AuDHD may experience differences in: 

• Sustaining attention and managing impulsivity 
• Processing sensory input and coping with overstimulation 
• Regulating emotions and stress responses 
• Interpreting social communication 
• Adapting to change and unpredictability 

Recognising these patterns helps explain why everyday demands may feel challenging and why standard parenting strategies may not be effective. 

How autism and ADHD traits interact 

Traits can be tricky to identify for most people who are not familiar with AuDHD, meaning early signs of ADHD and autism are sometimes missed. Traits tend to overlap, amplify each other or even appear to contradict each other. This is one of the reasons AuDHD children often need tailored support and strategies that address these challenges. 

For example, a child may: 

• Crave routine for comfort (autism) but find it hard to follow through consistently (ADHD) 
• Become overwhelmed by sensory experiences (autism) and react quickly or impulsively (ADHD) 
• Hyperfocus on topics they love (ADHD/autism) yet struggle to shift attention when needed 
• Mask their autistic traits during school hours, only to experience emotional burnout at home 

These interactions can be confusing for parents but developing a better understanding opens pathways to more compassionate and supportive strategies. 

Strengths associated with AuDHD 

While there are challenges children with autism and ADHD face, they can draw strengths from traits associated with AuDHD: 

• Creativity and curiosity 
• Honesty, loyalty and empathy 
• Strong problem-solving skills 
• Intense focus on areas of interest 
• Unique ways of seeing and understanding the world 

Identifying and nurturing these strengths supports confidence, self-esteem and long-term wellbeing. 

Supporting your child at school and with professionals 

Navigating support systems can be complex, but understanding key pathways helps you advocate more effectively for your child and their needs. 

Working with schools 

If you’re in England 

Schools must make reasonable adjustments to support your child’s needs under the Equality Act 2010. These adjustments help ensure your child is not placed at a disadvantage.  

Support may include: 

• SEN Support or Individual Education Plans (IEPs) 
• Sensory accommodations (quiet spaces, reduced noise) 
• Exam access arrangements 
• Applying for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP) 

If you’re in Scotland 

Children who need additional help may receive support through a Co‑ordinated Support Plan (CSP), which brings education, health and social care together. Families can also get guidance from organisations like Enquire, Scotland’s national advice service for additional support needs. 

Support may include: 

• Adjusted learning tasks or visual supports 
• Sensory‑friendly spaces 
• One‑to‑one or small‑group support 
• A formal CSP to coordinate services 

If you’re in Wales 

Schools use an Individual Development Plan (IDP) for children who need tailored support with learning, sensory needs or emotional regulation. Parents can also seek advice through SNAP Cymru, which supports families navigating the ALN (Additional Learning Needs) system. 

Support may include: 

• Adjustments to classroom routines 
• Sensory support (quiet areas, ear defenders, sensory tools) 
• Adapted teaching strategies 
• A formal IDP outlining long‑term support 

Keeping a simple log of your child’s behaviours, triggers and school challenges can strengthen conversations with teachers and support applications for EHCPs, CSPs or IDPs.  

Schools will often put accommodations in place even without a formal diagnosis, so it’s worth discussing this even without a diagnosis. However, some types of support and funding can only be accessed once your child has a diagnosis. 

Accessing assessment through your GP 

If you suspect your child may have autism or ADHD, you can speak to your GP, who will decide whether to make a referral for an NHS assessment. NHS waiting times are currently very long, with over 236,000 people waiting for an autism assessment in England and average waits reaching 17 months.  

Many children also face lengthy waits for ADHD assessments, with MPs recently highlighting that more than 316,000 children are waiting and calling the delays “unsustainable”. Because of these pressures, keeping notes on your child’s behaviours, school challenges and daily patterns can strengthen your referral and help professionals understand their needs. 

When a private assessment may be appropriate 

If long NHS waiting times mean your child is going months or even years without the support they need, you might consider a private assessment. A diagnosis often unlocks strategies and adjustments that help children feel understood and supported. Without it, the delays can affect your child’s education, confidence, friendships and even family relationships. 

Private assessments can: 

• Reduce waiting times 
• Clarify a combined diagnosis 
• Support applications for school accommodations 
• Enable access to post-diagnostic support 
• Help schools understand the child’s profile sooner 

A private combined assessment can also give you a clearer, more joined‑up picture of your child’s strengths, challenges and support needs. If you’re considering this option, you can read our guide on how to get an ADHD or autism diagnosis.

Support services and groups parents can access in the UK 

If you’re finding yourself relying mostly on your own strength, your family or a very small circle for support, you’re not alone. However, across the UK, support is available through a mix of statutory services and voluntary organisations, offering everything from practical guidance to emotional reassurance. 

Local SEND forums 

Most councils run local SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) forums or parent-carer groups. These can be valuable places to feel less alone and more informed. Through these forums, parents can: 

• Connect with other parents who understand what you’re navigating 
• Attend workshops or information sessions 
• Get guidance on EHCP processes and local provision 
• Have your voice heard and help shape local services through co-production 

NHS and private services 

You may also be able to access support through NHS or private services. This might include: 

• CAMHS or community paediatrics 
• Occupational therapy 
• Speech and language therapy 
• Early Help services 
• Private post-diagnostic or therapy services 

Some of these services require a formal diagnosis, but not all do, particularly Early Help services and certain therapy options. Even if you’re still waiting for assessments or answers, it’s worth exploring what support you and your child may already be entitled to. 

Charities and national organisations 

There are many charities and national organisations in the UK that work to advocate for neurodivergent children and their families. These organisations aim to influence policy, improve access to services and raise understanding and many also offer direct, practical support to parents. 

This can include advice, training, helplines and parent support networks, as well as reassurance that you’re not facing this alone. Organisations you may find helpful include: 

• National Autistic Society 
• Contact 
• Ambitious About Autism 

These organisations are often a valuable source of trusted information and support, helping you feel more confident and informed as you move forward with your child. achers don’t see, which is completely normal because children cope differently in different settings.